FUCK OFF GIFTS

Are these gifts actually real? Frighteningly real. Each piece is handcrafted with equal parts skill and questionable judgment.

Is this a serious business? We're seriously committed to making people say, "Fuck off...!". Does that count as an answer?

Who's behind all this? A team of questionably talented individuals who prefer to remain anonymous. Not because we're ashamed (okay, maybe a little), but because our families still think we have "real jobs" in IT.

Where do you operate from? Somewhere in Bengaluru, India. We keep our exact location secret because our neighbors are still trying to figure out what we do here. The mysterious sounds and occasional maniacal laughter don't help.

Do you have gifts specifically for him? We sure do! From "beer but make it ridiculous" to "things he didn't know he needed but definitely doesn't," we've got you covered.

What about gifts for her? Absolutely! Think of the most unconventional, head-scratching gifts - now add glitter. Perfect for her collection of "things that make zero sense but are oddly delightful."

And for them? Oh, you bet. For your friends, partners, or that mysterious "them" in your life who thrives on quirky chaos, we've got masterpieces that defy all labels.

Can I place a bulk order? Yes! Whether you're planning a wedding, hosting a gag party, or just have a large group of people to confuse, we can handle it. The more chaos, the merrier!

Do you do corporate gifts? Sure! If your HR team has a sense of humor, we're here for it. We can create gifts that will either make your colleagues laugh or send them straight to HR. You decide.

What's the lead time for bulk or corporate orders? Give us 2-4 weeks depending on the scale. Great chaos takes time, after all. And we'll send you detailed progress updates so you know exactly when the weirdness will arrive.

Can I customize bulk orders? Of course! Whether you want 50 variations of "Fuck off gifts...?" or matching pieces of collective confusion, we'll work with you to make it happen.

Do you do custom orders? Absolutely! If you have a specific vision of confusion in mind, we're here to bring it to life. Just drop us a line with your wonderfully weird idea.

Will my gift be appropriate for a corporate event? Depends. How much do you value your job security?

Do you offer gift wrapping? Yes, and we promise it'll be just as questionable as what's inside.

Do you offer any warranty? Each piece comes with our "What Were We Thinking?" guarantee - if it doesn't make someone question your sanity within 24 hours of gifting, we've failed at our job.

How do I pay for these masterpieces? We accept all major forms of currency (and minor forms of bribery). UPI, cards, bank transfers - pick your poison. Just no Monopoly money, please. We tried that once.

What's your payment policy? Two options: 1. 50% upfront (to make sure we're both committed to this chaos) and 50% before shipping. 2. 100% advance payment if you're feeling particularly trusting (we'll send you a virtual hug).

What's your return policy? Once you've unleashed the chaos, there's no turning back. All sales are final (mostly because we can't imagine anyone wanting to part with these masterpieces).

How do you handle refunds? Like most relationships, we believe in clean breaks. If something's genuinely wrong (besides your taste in gifts), we'll refund you faster than you can say "What was I thinking?"

How long does shipping take? 2-3 business days for local delivery, 5-7 days nationwide. We use this time to question our life choices and pack your item with care.

Delivery timelines? Usually 5-7 working days, unless Mercury is in retrograde or our creative chaos takes longer to perfect. We'll keep you updated with unnecessarily detailed progress reports.

What if something arrives damaged? First, we'll need photographic evidence (and your reaction video if possible). Then we'll either fix it or replace it, making sure the replacement is equally, if not more, questionable than the original.